Entertained In Sicker Things
by ThatMTrenchFicWriter
Summary: My first multi-chapter fic. Leah is a 20 year old young woman struggling with a list of addictions and self destructive behaviors. When she meets Josh Ramsay and the rest of Marianas Trench and starts to become close to them all, can she beat what's killing her? M for potential smut, language, and substance abuse/self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

I rolled my eyes for the millionth time that day. Stephen could not shut up about how excited he was to see some band I'd never heard of, but agreed to drive him to their concert. We'd gotten there a few hours early, and there was already a small lineup. I was trying to tune out the fangirls around me (including the small blonde boy next to me) by turning up Stephen's iPod. He'd started playing the band's CD for me, and I had to admit they were good.

I flipped my dark brown bangs out of my eyes, trying to find the one song I really liked. I sucked at remembering titles, so I ended up starting the album over again. I made a mental note to have Stephen burn me a copy of this CD later. No way was my broke ass buying it. They were good, but not that good. I felt a rough smack on my shoulder and looked up from my seat on the ground to see Stephen grinning ear to ear. I pulled out one of the headphones.

"What? Why are you maiming my shoulder?" I asked, pausing the song I'd been looking for. I recognized it from the opening.

"That's him! That's Mike!" He said excitedly, pointing at a guy with curly brown hair that was headed for the Starbucks across the street from the venue.

"And he does what now?" I asked, already turning my focus back to the iPod. Someone yelled out to Mike. He turned and smiled this huge, goofy, grin and waved in our general direction. I waved back with Stephen and the other girl who'd yelled, not wanting to be rude. I looked back up to see Stephen staring at me with his mouth open.

"Oh my God. Leah! He plays bass and he's basically the most perfect person ever. You need to remember their names so that you don't embarrass me later," The short blonde kid huffed. Poor Stephen. He was like a little brother to me, even if he was almost a year older. I towered over him at 5'9, while he was just barely 5'3.

I rolled my eyes and went back to listening to the album, which I now noticed was called Fix Me. Huh. I liked it. I closed my eyes and listened to a song that was rapidly becoming my favorite.

"_All my faces are alibis. And me? I'm half the man I wanted to be."_

About an hour later (or what I judged to be an hour. I'd gotten through the entire album. Again.) I noticed everyone around me was starting to go in. Stephen was dragging me to the door so we could get right up front. I couldn't help but smile, he looked so happy. He grabbed ahold of my hand as we walked inside, running right to the front and center of the stage. When the band came out, they'd be right on top of us.

As the room slowly filled up, I realized how many people were wearing shirts with a different band's name on them. I couldn't remember the name of the band we were here for, but it wasn't that one.

"Hey, Stephen?" I said loud enough to be heard over the voices around us. "What's the name of the band we're here for?"

"Marianas Trench. And not that many people know who they are, so we'll probably even get to meet them!" Stephen said, obviously thrilled. It was then that the room got quieter for a moment. A very small moment. The band had come on stage.

Let the screaming begin.


	2. Chapter 2

When the show was over, Stephen and I ran for the back of the small venue. There was a bar where the band said they'd be meeting up with fans, and after that performance I HAD to meet them. They had been so amazing. Marianas Trench was on the fast track to becoming my new favorite band. I'm usually not so vain, but it definitely helped that they were all totally hot.

We were among the first people there, anxiously waiting for the band to make an appearance. There weren't many others behind us; most people had stayed behind to see the headliner. I was the first to notice the shocking blue hair of the vocalist, so I elbowed Stephen.

"Remind me of the blue haired babe's name?" I said, shouting over the screeches of another girl behind us who'd also noticed the singer's appearance.

"His name's Josh and he is flawless!" Stephen said, jumping up and down. I considered this as I grabbed Stephen and shoved him in front of me so he could see better and be closer. His elbow caught me in the ribs when some girl shoved him, and I let out an audible gasp. I tried to disguise my pain, but it's hard to cover it up when someone's elbow catches you in an open cut. I apparently didn't hide my face fast enough, because I saw the pain in his eyes.

"Leah…" I heard the lecture in his low voice.

"Not tonight, hon. Just let it go," I looked back up as the rest of the band showed up, smiling at us. I made eye contact with the cute brunette guitarist. I blushed and he looked away, smiling a little wider. Did that seriously just happen? I'm already fangirling over a band I just got into tonight. Damn.

As we worked our way to the front of the group of people, my breath caught when Josh made eye contact with me. He smiled and held his hand out to me.

"Hi, I'm Josh," I didn't tear my dark eyes away from his grey blue ones the whole time Stephen had the band sign his CD. I had them all sign the right arm of my hoodie, just so I could have them sign something. When they all stood with us for a picture, I blushed a little when Josh wrapped his arm around me right away. The drummer, Ian, had his arm around me from the other side. Stephen was between Mike and Matt and was almost shaking in excitement. I managed a grin as the shot was taken.

As I stepped away, I noticed Josh gave me a small squeeze. I looked back up in to the tall, dark-haired, man's eyes. His eyes were on my left wrist. I quickly tugged down on my sleeve, gasping a little. I looked away and grabbed Stephen's hand, thanking them before heading for the door.

"Leah, what's the rush?" He asked, keeping ahold of my hand as we walked out to my car.

"Nothing, I'm just starving and trying to think of something open this late around here," I said, grabbing my keys out of the pocket of my grey skinny jeans as we approached my car. I unlocked it and hopped into the driver's seat. This was only half true, and he knew me well enough to catch on.

"So, Josh was making eyes at you. I was waiting for him to just ask for your number," Stephen wiggled his eyebrows at me as I started the car and rolled my eyes, backing out of the spot and thinking about where to go. I really was starving now.

"Shut up and stop trying to whore me out before I eat your skinny little ass," I said, laughing as I turned on the radio.


	3. Chapter 3

We sang along to some stupid pop song as we drove around in circles, looking for somewhere that was still open and had decent food. I was seriously considering pulling over and just eating my own left leg when we finally came across a McDonald's a few streets away. Not ideal, but food is food and we were both starving. I parked and dug around in my glove compartment for my wallet, pulling it out after dropping some tampons into Stephen's lap.

"Oh my god, Leah! Gross!" Stephen jumped and threw them back in rapidly, acting like the things we poisonous.

"Oh for goodness sakes. Stephen, they're just tampons. It's not like they're used or anything," I stuffed some napkins back in behind the tampons. I laughed at the kid's typically male reaction to the tampons. I was still smiling as we got out of the car and walked into the empty McDonald's.

While I ordered my food, Stephen suddenly gasped.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God. Leah, it's them," He stage whispered to me, elbowing me in the ribs again. I hissed at him, punching him in the side before turning around. I immediately realized who 'them' was.

It was the guys from Marianas Trench. At that moment, my food came up. I grabbed my tray and walked rapidly over to the drink machine. I kept my face hidden behind my hair, but I felt eyes on my back. Stephen, of course, said hello. He was being his normal jumpy self. I just about spilled my Dr. Pepper when I heard what he said next.

"Would you guys wanna sit with us?"

I also almost screamed when I heard a voice I placed as blue-haired guy's. "Yeah, sure."

I kept my face down as I walked over to a corner booth. Stephen sat next to me, and the guys from the band joined us once they had their food. I picked over my fries, having rapidly ingested my burger in the hopes that being done would make Stephen want to leave faster. My chest and thighs were in a lot of pain, and I needed another cigarette.

As the guys squeezed together into the booth, I finally took a good look at them all. Matt (Stephen had filled me in on all of their names as I'd inhaled my burger) sat beside Stephen, Josh sat directly across from me, Mike sat beside Josh, and Ian was on the end. Stephen couldn't wipe the smile off of his face.

I kept looking up and making accidental eye contact with Josh. He would do this little half smile sometimes, lost in his own thoughts and obviously not paying any attention to the conversation. I was half in the conversation, and half trying to figure out how I could get out of here.

"Hey, can you guys let me out? I need to go outside. Get some air," I said, looking down at Matt and Stephen.

"Yeah, me too," Josh said, hip-bumping Mike. Everyone got up and let us out, and my heart jumped into my throat and started going about a million beats a minute. Well, that was my conservative estimate. Now I'd have to talk to him.

I'm always terrified of people I find attractive. I couldn't even deny it. From his tongue piercing to his hair to his long legs, Josh Ramsay was hot and I was smitten.


	4. Chapter 4

I shivered as I stood outside. I walked out to my car, carefully ignoring the tall man beside me. He didn't speak until I unlocked my car, grabbing my purse from under the driver's seat and standing back up. I slammed the door behind me.

"I'm Josh," He said, his voice soft yet scratchy. Basically drop dead sexy. I shoved my arm into my bag after tossing the strap over my shoulder.

"Leah," I replied, putting a cigarette between my teeth. I stuck my arm in my bag again, pulling out my lighter this time. I leaned against the car as I tried to get my cigarette lit. The wind kept blowing out the flame before I could get it.

"Here, let me help," Josh stepped closer to me. He leaned forward and blocked the wind with his body so I could get the light. My breath caught a little when his arm came in contact with mine. I inhaled quickly and leaned back, blowing the smoke away from him.

"Don't move yet, I still have to get mine," He gave me a quick smile before leaning forward and pulling his own lighter and pack out of his hoodie pocket. I leaned against him, letting a small smile pass my lips.

"Do you not say much, or am I just too weird for you to talk to?" He asked, shooting me another smile before taking a drag. I shrugged before exhaling and replying.

"I just don't do well around people I don't know," I answered honestly. In truth, I just didn't have many friends. People like me usually didn't. I tugged down the sleeves on my sweatshirt at the thought. It might have been warm earlier, but the night was quickly cooling off. I wrapped my arms around myself, careful not to set myself on fire with the end of my cigarette.

Josh leaned against my car beside me, looking at the ground. I took this as an opportunity to get a decent look at him. It suddenly struck me that I'd love to draw him. He had that vibrant blue and jet black hair that fell perfectly into his eyes, and cheekbones to die for (don't get me started on his flawless jaw line). His skinny jeans and close-fitting hoodie showed his form well, he was a slim figured man, but I had seen his arms exposed earlier. His tee shirt had let me see some defined arms, and at least two tattoos. I absent mindedly wondered if he had more. The slight smudge of eyeliner under his grey-blue eyes served to make them look wider. I jumped when he suddenly looked up and caught me staring at him. He laughed a little, taking another drag from his cigarette.

"Can I help you, or are you just enjoying the view?" He asked, a smirk plastered across his face. My eyes fell to the ground again before I decided hey, two can play that game.

"Actually, I was. I was just thinking of how much I'd love to draw you," I said honestly. I bit my lower lip, a bad habit of mine that usually left my lip bleeding. Oh well. It definitely wasn't my worst habit.

"You're an artist?" Josh actually sounded interested. I was surprised that anything I said would interest him, to be honest.

"Yeah, but not like… professionally. It's just what I do when I'm at home and I need to think. I was actually studying your jawline when you caught me. It's pretty amazing," I babbled. I blushed a little and bit at my lip again, a bit embarrassed now. Josh laughed out loud at that, taking a last, long hit from his cigarette before dropping the butt and stomping it out.

"I'm flattered, honestly. I'd love to have you draw me sometime, if you wouldn't mind. Are you from here?"

"Yeah, actually. I'd really like to draw you," My head was spinning. I didn't know what I wanted to use yet, but I knew I'd have to make this one good. "Here, do you have a skype?" I asked, grabbing an old receipt and digging around for a pen in my bag after dropping the butt of my cigarette as well.

"Actually, yeah," He replied, smiling again. He had such a cute smile. It was only a half-smile, but it suited him. I was still digging around for a pen when there was suddenly a sharpie under my nose.

"Oh, thanks. Here, add my on skype and we'll get together sometime," I scribbled my skype name down in my messy handwriting.

"Your writing makes me worry that your drawing skills might not be so hot," He said, taking the paper from me and sticking it in his hoodie pocket. I shrugged.

"Guess you'll have to wait and see."


	5. Chapter 5

"How long exactly will I have to wait? I'm a very impatient person," Josh said, a small smile still on his face. I tugged at the sleeves of my hoodie. I just wanted to go get Stephen and go home.

"Well, when do you have internet and when are you gonna be around Vancouver next? That's where I'm actually from," I added, playing with the frayed ends of my thin sweatshirt. I was freezing and I was probably going to start shivering soon.

"Really? Well, fuck. I'll be back in a week. My apartment is in Van City," He replied, watching my hands. I was suddenly very conscious of the look he'd been giving my wrist earlier, and an ache in my chest reminded me I was still getting a lecture from Stephen on the way home.

"Oh, awesome. So's mine. I guess we'll have to talk and meet up some time," Stephen and the rest of the band came outside, spotting us and walking over. I smiled a little at Josh before turning to face my best friend. "Ready to head home?"

Stephen stifled a yawn as he answered me "Yeah, I guess. It was so cool meeting you all!" He said, turning to the band again.

"It was awesome meeting you as well!" Mike said, holding his hand out to shake Stephen's. Everyone shook hands and said their goodbyes as I unlocked the car and went to get in.

"What, I don't get a goodbye, see you later, anything?" Josh said, grabbing my wrist as I opened the door. I hissed and pulled away impulsively. "Woah, sorry." He said, dropping his hand to his side before biting his lip and catching my eyes again.

"It's totally fine. Sprained it a few days ago, it's just tender," I lied easily. "Bye, get ahold of me next time you're back home. I guess I'll see you around," I forced a small smile. Suddenly I was being pulled into a hug, with Josh's long arms wrapped around me. I was a little taken aback and had to take a breath before returning the hug, my face pressed into his shoulder.

"I know what it's like. But you have to stop. Please," Josh whispered. "Here, you like you're about to freeze. Keep it until I see you again," he added aloud, unzipping his hoodie and tugging it off. I pulled away, tears in my eyes. He held it out to me and I turned around, slipping my arms into the overlong sleeves. When I turned to thank him he smiled down at me, zipping his hoodie over mine. "Better?" He asked. He stuck his hands in the pockets before letting me go, grabbing the slip of paper with my skype on it and a lighter.

"Yeah, thanks," I was blushing darkly as I quickly got into the car and started it, slamming the door behind me. I waved to the rest of them as Stephen dropped into my passenger seat.

I backed out of the space, driving away and turning on my GPS so it could direct me to our apartment building. Stephen lived on the level below me.

"So what the fuck was with Josh hugging you? He doesn't strike me as a touchy guy. And you're in his hoodie. I'm not sure if I'm jealous or if I should plan the wedding," Stephen broke the silence between us, turning the radio down.

"He gave me his skype, too. I said I wanted to draw him," I responded. I still felt on the verge of tears. I could hold it in until I got home and could sit alone with Josh's hoodie and a mug of tea. I couldn't lie, I was probably gonna spend a lot of time in it until I saw him again. It was big on me and really soft. It smelled like cigarette smoke and some cologne I couldn't place. It was nice.

"Oh my gosh. Leah! I'm planning the wedding,"

I rolled my eyes and kept driving, letting Stephen bounce in his seat as I turned up the stereo.


End file.
